City So Nice I Visited Her Thrice

Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today...

Well, truth be told, I actually just got back today from my third trip to the Big Apple, and, let me tell you, I had a marvelous time.

I want to be a part of it- New York, New York...

Saturday: We arrive. Right off the plane I am asked what I want to do the most. My answer, and let me just state that I have no shame for my musical theatre nerdiness, was "See Sutton Foster." She was currently showing in Shrek the Musical. Mom and Codi go to the TKTS line whilst Dad and I rush to theatre to see if Sutton was in fact going to be in the show that night or if she called out. Her name was on the list. Check! Mommy managed to get tickets to that night's show. Check! Now, what to do to kill the time until curtain? This is when we wandered into Ellen's Stardust Diner. Food was ok, but the atmosphere was phenomenal! (FYI: Ellen's is home to a singing waitstaff who entertain throughout the meal). After some memorable renditions of classic and broadway tunes (esp. a quite hilarious Defying Gravity), it was time for our show. Now I love Shrek the movie and I love broadway, so this show had some high expectations, and boy, did it deliver! Sets and costumes were just gorgeous, lyrics and dialogue funny and witty, and acting was fantastic (how could it not be with Foster, James, Sieber, and Tartaglia at the wheel? Just like the movie makes fun of other movies, Shrek the Musical takes stabs at other musicals; I loved all the references, especially A Chorus Line, Wicked, 42nd Street, and Lion King. Oh, and for fans of the show, Lord Farquaad's horse, whose name changes every show, was named "Plastic Horse." And what Broadway show could be complete without visiting the stage door afterwards? We head out to wait and it is sprinkling outside. No, the rain cannot dampen my spirits, I am going to wait it out despite the fact that I'm wearing a half white dress (has green spots). Christopher Sieber is the first out followed by John Tartaglia. Both are very nice and chat with us while signing Playbills and taking pictures. The rain picks up slightly as Brian d'Arcy James, Shrek himself, comes out. By now it is raining quite hard, but, wanting to stay to meet Sutton, I brave it out in the rain (It should be noted that I have some of the most patient/understanding parents ever. Not only did they go see a Broadway show with me, and they may be standing under a balcony removed from this event, but they are still out in the cold rain waiting to see people who they have no idea who they are just because they know it is important to me... Love you!). To make this short, as if this entry isn't long already and we are only on day one of four, she never came out. I was a little sad, but hey, I still got to see her perform live just moments earlier and that is amazing in and of itself. Because the rest of the family is hungry, we go to McDo and, while inside, the heavens open up. Despite pouring buckets of rain, we decide not to stay put and to leave for the hotel (it is, after all, way after midnight). Our plan: RUN. Let me paint a picture for you: I am in whitish dress and flip-flops around 1 or 2 in morning running as fast as I can through Times Square in a terenchal downpour. As I approach the hotel (about 20 feet a way), a man puts out his arm to try to stop me as I near him saying "Miss, would you like an umbrella?" I continue to rush past him yelling back as I do, "It's too late for that now!" Once inside I find Daddy, who ran faster than me, and we are joined shortly by Codi, who had her shoe fly off somewhere between 48 and 49th street and had to spend time retrieving it, and a little while later by Mommy, who just walked figuring she was wet anyway. Now up for hot showers and to rest for another day.

These vagabond shoes are longing to stray right through the very heart of it...

Sunday: We spent the next day exploring Greenwich Village and eating a lot of sweets. Max Brenner's Chocolaterie for lunch and sweet cupcakes for dessert, what could be better? We found the bakery used in Sex in the City, the Magnolia Bakery, and Carrie's apartment (taking a picture of Kerri and Carrie's), before some delicious New York pizza for dinner. This day was all about food! (Oh, and miles and miles of walking trying to find all these places, which, as it turns out, were nowhere near each other.)

These little town blues are melting away...

Monday: We take a trip to the Museum of Natural History. The Dinosaurs were neat, but I feel mislead as the Museum's layout was nothing like the movie (some of those things are not even there...). Oh well. We also took a quick trip to the Hello Deli to meet Rupert from the Late Show with David Letterman before meeting Dad for Dinner at Bobby Flay's restaurant Bar American. The special was chicken fried chicken and, while it was tasty, Mommy's chicken fried chicken could beat it in a thrown down any day!

I wanna wake up in a city that doesn't sleep...

Tuesday: We took a trip up into the sky! That's right-- we went up the Empire State Building. The wait was long, but the view was more than worth it. Speaking of long, afterwards we walked 33 blocks to the Barnes & Nobel in Lincoln Center (pausing only slightly for a quick stop at TKTS). Why the long haul? Because the original Broadway cast of 9 to 5 was there celebrating the release of their cd! We went and, after worrying that we wouldn't get in because we were quite far back in the line wrapping around the building, got in to see the show. Marc Kudisch, Stephanie J. Block, Megan Hilty, and Allison Janney, the four leads, were all there. Kudisch sang a very funny "Here for You" followed by a sassy southern "Backwoods Barbie" by Hilty. Then all three girls joined together to close out the show with a very emotional "I Just Might." Right after the performance we went up to the table and met, talked, and took pictures with all the stars as they signed my cd (Hilty is my favorite of the bunch! She was very down to earth and uber sweet!). After the signing, we took a cab back to the hotel and, after eating at the great NYC restaurant known as Sbarro, I got ready to go see 9 to 5. (Yes, I met them and talked to them about their show before I had actually seen the show... it's all good). I was going to see this show by myself, which I do not mind, but I do mind that it was at the Marquis Theatre. Don't get me wrong, the inside of that theatre is just as gorgeous as the next, but getting into that theatre is another story (it is located inside a hotel on its second floor- it took some time wandering and finally breaking down to ask for directions to actually find the doors.) Being on the second floor of another building also presented this problem: where is the stage door? No worries though! After the hilarious dance-filled girl-power show about three unlikely friends who accidentally end up kidnapping their boss, I was successfully able to located the stage door. I called up the rest of the family to come meet up with me, which they did, and meet/chatted with the cast for the second time that day. Oh! Let me tell you the pen story. So I am standing at the stage door with my playbill penless. For those of you unfamiliar with "stage dooring," this wouldn't be a problem for the main stars/leads (the ones you are probably waiting for anyway) all come out with their own pens. Ensemble members generally do not stop to sign stuff, and therefore do not have pens, but some of them were stopping. Myself, not having a pen, was just letting them walk past me with a smile and a friendly "hello" (including Andy Karl who I would've liked to have signed it, but hey, I had no pen). Then out comes a confident ensemble man, going down the line and signing everything. As he approaches me I start to panic in my head. I do not want to tell him "no," but I have no pen to offer out. He comes over and outstretches his hand. I look downcast and quietly explain that I have no pen. He smiles and throws his hands up exclaiming in a booming voice, "No problem young lady! I have a pen!" He pulled a pen out of nowhere, signs my playbill, and winking, hands me back my playbill and his pen saying, "You keep it." It was so sweet and allowed me to collect a few more names, but I still have no idea who he was (signature was illegible). So, Mr. Pen Guy, whoever and wherever you are, thank you for a great stage door memory! :)

And if I can make it there, I'm gonna make it anywhere...

All in all, it was a great trip. We got back safely and experienced no delays (way to go Atlanta airport!). Many of the places we ended up visiting, things we ended up seeing, or people we ended up meeting did not happen the way we had planned, nevertheless, I wouldn't have changed it for the world.

It's up to you - New York, New York!

Professors Say the Darndest Things- Freshman Edition

Ever in class and think, "Oh my word, I cannot believe the professor just said that?" You are not alone. Here's a growing collection of great quotes as said by Auburn professors:

* People use flowery romantic languages to show they are learned, but, if I were a cow farmer, I'd just use Germanic curse. That get those cows back in their pen.

* When you are little, you don't go to the zoo, see a kangaroo, and get interested in marsupial research. Who wants to study marsupials? They are just strange creatures. Someday I'll tell you my marsupial story...

* In the New York Times you can't say mean things except against Southerns and maybe fat people.

* Let's do a drive and see how many people will trade in their cell-phone for a bag of candy corn. Who doesn't like candy-corn?

* If your roommate can crack his knuckles to the "Battle Hymn of the Republic"... you might want to change that.

* (yells) I don't intend this to BE a practical course!

* You go home, open the fridge, and there is nothing to eat. You start to ask yourself, "Do I really still like that cat?"

* Sometimes we have a situation that you want to give me your money and I will give you my cocaine... but there's a cop watching, so we can't. That would be inappropriate.

* (male prof) I'd love to hang out with you, but I have to spend an hour buffing my nails.

* We don't all have to be smart. We just need to be able to steal things.

* Teaching is fun. Not teaching is more fun.

* How many papers will you write? I used to make my students write three. Three is alot. Four is better! Let's do two.

* If you don't think I'm funny, that's ok. You'll just flunk.

* Having quizzes has merit. Not having quizzes also has merit. Mainly it gives me less work to do. That's definitely a plus considering my salary.

* Somewhere I'm sure Auburn University has a paper saying what a this class should be like, what you should learn and what I should teach, but I've never read it. I frankly don't care.

* Let me tell you a story about left-handed Lithuanian plumbers...

* Let me tell you a story about prostitution...

* I know some liberals who are wonderful people!

* As an individual, how can you change the world? You could assassinate Lincoln... but I don't recommend it.

* Sometimes you need to set aside principles to do what is right!
(to which a student asks: Don't principles determine what's right?)

* If I won the lottery I'd buy a clan of ninjas and take over Canada.

* Here's [a picture of] a giant tortoise. If you are not in a hurry and have a hot dog, you can use one for transportation.

* Somebody stole my wombat!

* This course was designed to make individuals more well-rounded. If you want to more well-rounded, you should eat a lot of pizza. That would be easier.

* That's preposterous! As opposed to post-posterous. And I'm not sure what that means.

* I'm not sure why you'd need to know this, but if you're on Jeopardy, and they ask this, you'll know. Then you owe me half your winnings.

* I'm making up these dates, but they might be right.

* (sirens going off outside) CRAP! Do you think someone told the cops where I am?

* The whole point of higher education is you get to get the jokes.

* Here's another nonsensical question: Could humans be made to be just like dolphins in every way? NO! 'Cause then we would not be humans, we'd be dolphins!

*(addressing a student) I know you think its important to say what you wanna say, but its not.

*(whispers) Economist are witch doctors.

* There are two things you cannot discuss at parties: religion and cold remedies.

*Here's another worthless, irrelevant footnote: red is tricky.

* How do you make yourself believe in God? Hang out with the right people, go to church, and stay away from English Departments!

* (student walks in and strolls across room carrying a hubcap) By the way, if that's mine, you fail!

* The reason we have this problem isn't because people are stupid. Its because they're schmucks.

* student: I think that people not believing the hobgoblin theory has to do with the social and physiological reasons more than the hypothetico-deductive reasoning being fallacious.
prof: I think it has more to do with I'm making shit up.

* Here's my plan: Let's go to England. You attack the queen and I'll save her. You'll probably go to jail, but I'll fulfill my life long dream of becoming a knight. How cool would that be?

* People switching those annoys me. Not you though. I hope to educate you to be annoyed with everyone else. I want you to be less happy with your life.

* This [education] is all about becoming dangerous at parties.

So, I have a degree in Imaginary Engineering...

and I used it to build a stunning sandcastle with the boys!

CSO Beach Trip 2009

I'm feeling a bit drowsy...

from my road trip to Columbus to see the Drowsy Chaperone with Elizabeth. I can't believe I was able to talk her into going, mainly since tickets were not guaranteed. We rushed the show, and, to keep you out of suspense, I'll tell you upfront that we got tickets (dead-center 2nd row balcony!). For those who don't know, in order to get to the theatre in Columbus you have to drive through their projects. After parking our car, Elizabeth looked around and said, "Wouldn't it be funny if your car wasn't here when we got back?" No Elizabeth! That would not be funny at all! "Don't worry," she continued, "if that happened we could just call my brother. He's a cop in Columbus, so he could fill out the report and get us back to Auburn. That's killing two birds with one stone!" Glad to know she's got a plan. Anywho, we got there pretty early (we were rushing the show after all) and spent some time exploring the little streets around the theatre and lazying down the Columbus river walk. After grabbing some pizza in a local dive, we went back to the River Center to see the show. The Drowsy Chaperone was amazingly funny; I highly recommend that you go see it- it is one of my favorite shows! After the show, we headed to Krispy Kreme, keeping our fingers crossed that the "hot now!" sign was on. It was- Yay! We enjoyed far more donuts than we should have, but hey, they're delicious!

Where Dreams Come True and Logic Doesn't Exist

Disney's Magic Kingdom's three big rides are "mountains." There is Splash Mountain, where you get wet, Thunder Mountain, a roller coaster outside through a desert-like mountain, and Space Mountain, an indoor roller coaster in the dark with faux stars and stuff.

So, for the past four-ish years, Lindsey and I have been trying our hardest to get Codi on Space Mountain. It is, after all, hands down, Disney's best ride. She won't do it. She refuses and fusses and screams that she won't get on it. We are there for her birthday; she's officially a teenager now (can you believe it?), 13. We tell her, it would be a cool story to tell your friends. Nope. No budging. So her, my dad, and I get in line for Thunder Mountain, her favorite ride. The line is super long, estimated wait time is 80 minutes. We glimpse at the fast-pass station. You can get a pass, but the return time 7:30-8:30. The following conversation actually happened. I did not make this up!

Kerri: Space Mountain's line was shorter than this and it’s a better ride... why don't you just try it?
Codi: NO! Let's get a fast-pass and come back later.
Dad: We should just wait in line. The fast-pass time is too late into the night. It'll be dark by then.
Codi: I don't care. Riding a roller coaster is more fun in the dark when you can see the stars anyways.
Kerri: (taken back by previous statement) WHOA! If only there was a ride based on that concept that we could go to and ride now.... I wish there was...Oh wait! That's what Space Mountain is!

Can you believe she said that?

I most certainly cannot.

...afterwards, fyi, she still wouldn't ride Space Mountain.

Whatca doin' buyin' hairspray at 1 in da mornin'?

The girls, Elizabeth, Jasmine, and Allison, and I saw Hairspray! Because I got us tickets late, we didn't get to sit together. I got us one ticket in the 2nd row, one in the 3rd, and two in the 4th. I got the 2nd row seat and sat next to a large, buff man- funny because he started singing along with some of the songs which took me back a bit. When we got out, it was monsooning! Well, not really, but it was the hardest downpour I have ever been in. So, what do we decided to do? Go to Sonic, bien sûr! We all got milkshakes and sat around in the rain, in the cold, and in our tiny dresses, but just hanging out again was worth it! While driving back, Elizabeth, who was shot gun, yelled, "Whoa! I can't even see the road!" Thanks- I knew that- I was aware! (It was a quite nerve-racking drive back!) We had to park in the far RO lot when we got back to school, but, fortunately, we didn't have to wait long for the security shuttle to come get us. When we got in, the man looks at us (we are fancily dressed and a wee bit wet) and asks us where we've been. Jasmine says, "At Hairspray!" causing the man to whip around and question, "Whatca doin' buyin' hairspray at 1 in da mornin'? Couldn't that have waited 'til mornin'?" Nope... it couldn't've.

Spreading the Light

I recently had the opportunity to be a counselor for St. Micheal's Confirmation retreat. My girls were all sweet and very willing to share their stories with us. They even made on of the best raps out of all the groups! Remember to always be the light!

Anxious to see the Greatest Rappin’ Battle of all time: Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros

When Flight of the Conchords announced that they were going to have a United States national tour, I was both excited and nervous. Acts that I normally want to see usually do not make it anyway in the south. I checked their list and found out that they ARE coming to Atlanta… but only for one night! Needless to say, I was up at the library to buy tickets the moment they went on presale (yet again, I managed to find a magical code). April 11th, the day before Easter, I’m going to Atlanta to see New Zealand's fourth most popular comedy folk duo!